The Adventures of Zell and Greg Brady!
by The Notorious Naurwen
Summary: LET THE INSANITY INSUE!!!!!!!!!!!!!! MWAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!!!! *evil grin*
1. Chapter 1

The Adventures of . . . Zell and Greg Brady!  
  
Author: Rag Doll.  
  
Disclaimer: I don't own any of the Final Fantasy VIII characters, or Greg Brady of the Brady Bunch. I do, however, own this storyline, so no stealing my idea! ^_^ Read and review!  
  
We find Zell Dincht sitting in front of the TV on a Saturday. He flips though the channels with a bored look in his eyes. 200 stations and NOTHING to watch! The horror, the adult rated, PG13 horror!  
  
"The only thing on is a Brady Bunch marathon! This sucks!" Zell yells, throwing the remote on the floor. Too bad it landed on the, 'Brings whoever's on TV to life' button. Suddenly, a big flash of light comes from the TV and there stands Greg Brady, in all his glory!  
  
"Hey there, far out dude!" Greg says, greeting our hero.  
  
"Man, that is SO 70's! Try using a different lingo." Zell replies, in utter disgust.  
  
"Whatever you say, dude. Are there any groovy chicks here for me to sing to? I got a far out song, wanna hear it?" He asks.  
  
"Um . . . sure, if it'll get you to stop bothering me, sure." Zell rolls his eyes and Greg Brady begins singing and playing his guitar.  
  
"Clowns never laughed before, and beanstalks never grew, ponies never ran before, until."  
  
"STOP IT! I CAN'T TAKE IT ANYMORE!" Zell interrupts. "Let me find the reverse button on this thing," Zell grumbles and looks for the remote. He finds it, only to see that that is no reverse button.  
  
"What's wrong, man?" Greg asks.  
  
"I can't put your frustrating butt back into the TV." Zell explains, looking for a helpful 1-800 number.  
  
"I can't believe you just said that!" The 70's TV star gasps.  
  
"Said what?" The blonde martial artist groans, remembering how uptight the Brady's were about language.  
  
"You said, 'butt'! You should be ashamed! Why if my mother heard you subjecting me to such language . . ."  
  
"Butt! Butt, butt, butt, butt, butt! B-U-T-T, butt!" Zell chants. Greg Brady faints and Zell sighs in relief. "That should take care of him for at least an hour."  
  
Author's Notes: Like it? Don't like it? Tell me! No flames please! ^_^ This is for you Rach! 


	2. Chapter 2

The Adventures of . . . Zell and Greg Brady!  
  
Author: Naurwen  
  
Disclaimer: I don't own any of the characters . . . sadly. But I do own the storyline. So no stealing! Get you grubby hands off my plot! Sorry. Lost my composure. Anyway . . . the moment you've all been waiting for . . . you wanted the best! You got the best! The hottest fic in the world . . .(I wish)  
  
Zell calls every 1-800 number and even some 1-900 numbers and finds nothing that can help him. Crestfallen, he trudges back to his recliner and grumbles. That's when Greg wakes up.  
  
"Groove senses are tingling! I sense a far out chick about . . . 20 feet away!" He stands up and strikes a heroic pose and runs out the out the door, proclaiming; "Groovy Man . . . AWAY!!!!!!!!" Zell is clearly terrified and chases after Greg, (Or Groovy Man. . . whatever.) and groans;  
  
"Oh no! Now he's LOOSE!"  
  
A/N: Who is the groovy chick? What has Zell done to the students of Balamb Garden? Dear God, what is that thing?! Will Hyne have mercy on Zell's sprit thingy? What the hell is wrong with me? Find out next chapter! (sorry this one was so short.)-Naurwen 


	3. Chapter 3

The Adventures of . . . Zell and Greg Brady!  
  
Author: Naurwen  
  
Disclaimer: I don't own any of the characters and I feel so empty because of it! Why oh why!? All I want are some characters! How many more lives?! HOW MANY MORE LIVES!!!!? Um . . . ok . . . just read.  
  
Zell chases Greg in a mad rush and then finds out who that 'groovy chick' is . . . Everyone's favorite blonde instructor . . . Quistis Trepe. "Quisty, WATCH OUT!" Zell tries to warn her but she doesn't hear him and. . . that's when all hell broke loose.  
  
"Hey there, Groovy chick. You're really happening in a far out way." Greg Brady says to the 18-year-old.  
  
"What are you talking about? What in Hyne's name does 'really happening in a far out way' mean?" Quistis says, scrunching up her forehead.  
  
"It means that you're really pretty." Greg says.  
  
"Um. . . thanks, but I already have a boyfriend. Sorry." Quistis says, walking off. Greg, of course follows her and Zell sprints though out Garden trying to catch him.  
  
"Quisty!" Zell pants, catching up with the two of them.  
  
"What? Zell, Do you have any idea who this guy is? He keeps speaking in tongues." Quistis asked, still in the pursuit of the 70's TV star.  
  
"He's Greg Brady, from The Brady Bunch. My remote has this strange button on it that turns whoever's on TV to life button, and I threw the remote on the floor and bumped the button. So please, please, PLEASE! Help me get him back into the glowing box that plays sitcoms! I'm begging you! You're the smart one!" Zell is down on one knee, pleading for Quistis to help him, giving her the puppy-dog face. She gives Zell a reluctant look and then finally says,  
  
"Oh, alright! You know that I can't say no to that stupid face." Quistis growls. "But we'll need some help from my boyfriend." The taller girl proceeds to her boyfriend's dorm, as Zell runs after her, shocked.  
  
"Quistis, no! Not him! ANYTHING but that! Why can't we get Squall to help? Or Irvine? How about Selphie? Rinoa? Nida? Xu?" Zell frantically says, trying to get Quistis to change her mind.  
  
"Zell, I'm the smart one, remember? We need Seifer Almasy's help."  
  
~*~  
  
At that very moment, Greg Brady was entering the cafeteria. That's when he saw the most beautiful sun-kissed goddess-like girl in his entire life. The girl was done dumping her tray and finally notices Greg looking at her. She comes over to him and smiles cheerily.  
  
"Hi, I'm Selphie Tilmitt!"  
  
A/N: So . . . did you like it? Huh? Huh? Did ya, did ya, did ya?!! That's right, ya did! NO FLAMES PLEASE! They make me cry. (. (Don't step on the whit ones . . . . . HOT . . . LAVA!. . . PINEAPPLE!!!!) (They're coming to take me away, ha ha!) Please, (In the words of Kamela (Hi Kamela! ^_^) 'click the little button that says 'review'! C'mon, you can do it!'  
  
What's next in this epic: Selphie and Greg form a friendship, and Zell, Quistis and Seifer get into a fight. Stay tuned! Same Greg time, same Greg channel! ^_^ 


	4. Chapter 4

The Adventures of . . . Zell and Greg Brady!  
  
Author: The Notorious Naurwen! ^_^  
  
Disclaimer: If you think I own these characters, YOU'RE DEAD WRONG, BUCKO! MOO!  
  
"Seifer! Hey, open the door, Seifer!" Quistis shouts, pounding the door with her fist.  
  
"I'm coming! Sheesh, Quisty!"  
  
The door opens and there stands Seifer Almasy.  
  
"Seifer!" Quistis runs up and hugs him and Zell rolls his eyes.  
  
"Let's cut to the chase, we need you're help!" Quisty says finally.  
  
"With what? Can I kill something?" Seifer asks his girlfriend.  
  
"Well, you might want to bring your gunblade, just in case." Quistis replies.  
  
"Alright! . . . In case of what?" A puzzled Seifer asks.  
  
"In case Greg Brady decides to hit on your girlfriend!" Zell says finally, growing impatient.  
  
"No one hits on my girlfriend!" Seifer pulls out his Hyperion and strikes a pose.  
  
"Ok! Can we go now?" Zell says, tapping his foot with irritation.  
  
"First, we have to think of a plan!" Quistis answers.  
  
"What kind of plan?!" The guys question eagerly.  
  
"A master plan!" Quistis says, entwining her fingers and smiling evilly.  
  
"Alright!" Zell shouts, "What do we do?"  
  
Quistis huddles together with the boys, telling them her plan.  
  
~*~*~*~  
  
"So, Greg, how are you liking Balamb Garden so far?" Selphie asks, halfway done with the 'grand tour' she decided to take him on.  
  
"It's groovy! It's really happening!" Greg replies, starring lovingly at Selphie. He is in love with her and hopelessly so.  
  
"I'm glad you like it! Booyaka!" Selphie exclaims, jumping in the air excitedly. "Want to meet my boyfriend now?"  
  
Greg is crushed. "You have a boyfriend?" He inquires, crestfallen.  
  
"Um, yep! Right over there!" Selphie points off into the distance, to none other than:  
  
"How ya doin' there, Selphie?" Irvine Kinneas.  
  
Author's notes: Tee hee! Sorry it took so long to update and for the lack of funny in this chapter. I shall promise you more funny in the chapters to come! Yay! Review please! They keep laughing at me, mom! 


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